I know, I know – another month-and-a-half between posts. Sorry about that. Now let’s dive in.

For months now, I’ve been watching the absurd media coverage given to what’s been called the “Tea Party Movement” here in America. The Tea Partiers, as they are commonly called, are supposedly a loosely-connected group of people who have come together to “take back America” in response to certain recent events that have made them angry. On the surface, that’s not a bad concept. The definition of democracy is based upon dissent among the common people in response to an overreaching central government. Dissent is not wrong. Dissent is allowed, even encouraged, under the United States Constitution.

But for that dissent to reach national and even world-wide levels, it stands to reason that said dissent has a valid target, with valid reasoning. And no matter what you think about governmental concepts and philosophy, the Tea Party is wrong. Ridiculously wrong, on so many levels. A nice idea at the outset has become overrun by the fringe, the kooks, the lunatics, and the dangerously unstable. It’s at the point now that if you consider yourself a “member” of this Tea Party movement, I consider you to be, at best, an easily-led dupe. At worst, I consider you to be a danger to my country, borderline-treasonous, and possibly a hateful bigot.

As I’ve just shown, another concept that is allowed under the Constitution is my right to air my opinions, too. Here’s mine: shut up, Tea Partiers. I’m tired of listening to you. I’m tired of seeing you on my television. I’m sick of you morons claiming that you speak for America when you’re nothing but an embarrassment to America.

You have a problem with the government? Fine. Every American knows of something that they think could be improved. Even in America, one of the freest nations on Earth, there are problems. Some people think taxes are too high. Some people think we need to try harder to find alternative energy or spend more money on education or better roads. EVERYONE thinks something needs to be better. You can talk all you want about what problems you feel this country is dealing with.

Within reason.

Threatening to burn down people’s houses, like one nut did to Nancy Pelosi after multiple rants left on her Washington voicemail after the Health Care Reform bill passed, is not within reason. Shouting “kill him” in reference to the President, like several subhumans have at Palin rallies in the past couple years, is not within reason. Ignoring mountains of evidence while continuing to claim that Barack Obama is a secret Muslim Kenyan that is part of a 40+ year-long African conspiracy to “invade” America and turn it into Saudi Arabia West is not within reason. The first two are treasonous. The third is just monumentally stupid and racist.

So why did a movement that purports to have been put into motion to protest the bank bailouts not find its footing until the Obama administration? Why indeed? As is often forgotten by the lunatic fringe, the federal program to bail out the largest failing banks was not conceived by the Obama administration, but rather the Bush administration several months before Obama ever took office. Where were the Tea Partiers then? Where was the outrage? And here we tiptoe up to the sensitive underbelly of the Tea Party monster, the thing they know they can’t say aloud, lest what little credibility they have be forever destroyed – there’s a Negro runnin’ things now. And they don’t like it.

Several polls have been taken recently that revealed a general microcosm of the “average” Tea Partier – reasonably wealthy, white, and well-educated. On the surface, that might be mildly surprising to those who assume that Tea Partiers are white trash loons (of course, the “white” part is hardly surprising, but I digress). I read a great article a couple days ago that pointed out the trend throughout history of majority groups resisting the rise of minority groups through various means and linking that, rightly, to the Tea Party. So why would many white, well-off, well-educated people suddenly be upset about banks and taxes NOW after George W. Bush spent 8 years following what laws he liked and ignoring ones he didn’t, sinking hundreds of billions of tax dollars into a pointless war on the other side of the world, signing the Patriot Act and stripping Americans of their civil liberties, botching the response to Katrina, helping his father’s oil buddies make millions under the table, and on and on? WHY NOW are they suddenly so upset?

Because a black man is their President. They can veil that answer with all the denials they want. But that’s why. And that’s that. The world is changing. It’s not all about Whitey anymore. So now comes the anger. After dealing with 8 years of the least intellectually-curious and probably most corrupt president since Richard Nixon, NOW these people are suddenly enraged with the state of things. Now they need to “take back America”. They just know better than to mention that they’re adding the addendum “from the blacks” under their breath.

Of course, this kind of looney-bin kookery is nothing new to Republicans’ response to Democratic administrations. The rural vote is heavily-Republican and has been for decades, thanks to the Republican political machine having successfully painted Democrats as pansy Liberal elitists while painting themselves as down-home country boys. The salt of the Earth. Yessirree. The irony of Republican politicians taking off their Armani suits and putting on cowboy hats and plaid shirts to go out and press the flesh while fooling gullible countryfolk with their supposed “common man” background and then going back to their mansions is totally lost on Republican voters. They’ve bought it hook, line, and sinker. So whenever a Democrat is elected President, the crazies in their log cabins start shining up their guns and putting their militias together again while waiting for some ridiculous repeal of the 2nd Amendment that they’re sure will happen, but never does. Every Democrat elected is the result of a conspiracy, every Democrat elected will take away your guns, every Democrat elected isn’t a “real” American.

But this time it’s different. Not only is a Democrat back in the White House, this one is an African. He was born in Kenya. He’s biding his time before repealing the 2nd Amendment, hell, the whole Constitution. And so on. Who knows what other diabolical plans he has for this great nation? After all, just look at him. He’s, y’know, not “one of us”.

And that’s the Tea Party. Sure, maybe some people in there somewhere really are just mad about taxes and that’s it. I honestly believe there are two wings of this Tea Party nonsense and they just don’t realize it yet.  There is the smaller “anti-tax” wing and the larger “racist” wing. The problem is that they look exactly alike. There’s no way to differentiate between the two. I think that some people have been sucked in to the movement because of the economy or some other valid reason. Of course, that still doesn’t explain why the anti-taxers just now decided to get pissed off about things, but maybe they’re just slow in the head. Maybe it takes them 8+ years to get angry about things. So I don’t think ALL of them are racist reactionary dupes. But those somewhat-reasonable people are in the minority when it comes to this “movement” of comically-stupid, hateful bigots.

On April 19, a group that almost gleefully asked to be described as a “branch” of the Tea Party movement protested in Washington, D.C. carrying loaded rifles, pistols, and semi-automatic weapons. Why? One, because they can, and two, to protest the supposed targeting of the 2nd Amendment. There is no such targeting. Obama has no plans to repeal any facet of the Constitution in any shape or form. It’s a figment of their imagination. But reality matters not to these people. So several hundred Tea Partiers showed up “locked and loaded” and stood around and ranted about an illusion. When you have a rifle slung on your back and strut around in public because it’s technically legal, I’m sure it makes you FEEL like a big man. But it makes you LOOK like a dipshit. I could buy a wizard’s robe and hat and walk up and down the street waving my magic wand and gibbering about the approaching black dragon army and it would be legal. But it doesn’t mean I don’t look like I need psychiatric help. That would hardly deter these people, though. When their chosen idol, Sarah Palin, tells rabid Tea Partiers to “lock and load” in response to the Health Care Reform bill, how does that not make rational people cringe and wait to see how many nuts actually take her literally?

The New York Times released a poll last week that put the Tea Party arrogance and self-importance to the forefront. One question asked Tea Partiers and non-Tea Partiers if they felt the Tea Party represented the ideas of most Americans. 84% of Tea Partiers said yes. When combined with the non-Tea Partiers, the “yes” vote dropped to 25%. That in a nutshell is the Tea Party – far more important to American democracy in their own minds than they actually are in reality, a group that deserves little mention but instead receives coverage around the country because they can shout words loudly, wear American flag t-shirts, and are happily oblivious to the fact that they are lying mimics, forcefed talking points by Fox News without a shred of evidence or fact to back up their claims.

A famous quote is attributed to Thomas Jefferson: “Dissent is the highest form of patriotism”. And upon thinking about that, I almost feel sorry for those in the Tea Party. They are being used and they don’t even know it. As the vast majority are middle-aged white folk, the backbone of the Republican Party’s voting bloc, Republican leaders have flocked to the Tea Party standard to use it for their own personal gain. Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, and countless Republicans have fought to insert themselves into the movement, to steer it towards their campaigns, to use its sudden power to increase their OWN power, while pulling in tens of thousands of dollars a pop in speaking fees, of course. And these Tea Partiers don’t even see it, don’t even realize how they’re being scammed.

They think they’re true patriots (at least the non-racists do). They think they’re performing a proud public service. They think they’re standing up for America. But they’re just being conned. The Tea Party is a blip on the radar – the angry shout of the rich white man railing against his loosening stranglehold on society. It will all be over soon. As with all fleeting pointlessness, it will end with a whimper, not a bang. No third party will be created from this. No great social upheaval will be created from this. They will just stand around and yell and scream and hold badly-misspelled signs full of lies and propaganda and hate, showing off their holstered guns and flag pins, claiming that they’re not racist when rational people know they are, claiming that it’s not about a black man in the White House when rational people know that it is.

Tea Partiers, you can’t claim to be all about protesting taxes when you’re carrying signs with Obama wearing a Muslim headdress. You can’t claim to be all about peaceful assembly when you marching around wearing loaded pistols. You can’t claim that the United States is descending into tyranny when it’s doing nothing of the kind. If you could only go back in time and ask European Jews in the 1930s, or the Romans during the days of the emperors, or the serfs in medieval society, or commoners under Stalin or Mao or Hitler, about REAL tyranny, then maybe you’d know the meaning of the word. Those people knew about tyranny and suffered under it every day for their entire lives. You know nothing about tyranny, beyond what the talking head millionaires on Fox News blabber about when they’re just trying to get you riled up. You are ignorant. They’re trying to whip you into an idiotic frenzy. And you’re falling for it.

The excellent social philospher Eric Hoffer, who was far from a liberal and hated the term “intellectual”, wrote a book in 1951 called The True Believer, which dealt with mass social movements and fanaticism. Inside is another quote that I think is quite pertinent: “In a time of drastic change it is the learners who inherit the future. The learned usually find themselves equipped to live in a world that no longer exists.” Simply put, the Tea Partiers’ perfect world no longer exists. It is up to them whether they want to become part of a forward-thinking society, to really and truly strive for a better nation, or instead wallow in their dreams of the dominant white man and the status quo. If they continue to choose the latter, their influence will be ever marginalized until they are nothing but a footnote in political history.