Why Am I So Awesome?

My name is Gabriel. This is me —

Handsome, yes?

Here is my beautiful wife, Leora —

She’s purdy. 🙂

And here is our daughter, Natasha Kay. She’s nearly 3 years old now, but this is a little while back, when she was less mobile, headstrong, and destructive —

What a goofball….anyway, on to me. 😉

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I am 32.

On September 1, 2009, at 2:27 pm, I turned 1 billion seconds old. Crazy.

Thousands of generations of humans, over a period of hundreds of thousands of years, procreated and perfected their evolution until I was born. At that moment, I was the most-perfectly evolved human being on Earth…. until some other kid was born somewhere on the planet a second later. hehe …. And now that I have a daughter, she is just a bit more perfect than me. (Love ya, Natasha)

I own hundreds of movies, hundreds of books, but only 3 pairs of shoes.

Ninety percent of the time, I’d rather drink a soda than a beer.

When I do drink, I prefer girly drinks and I don’t care what that says about me. They taste better, alright?

I can’t decide whether I watch Maury Povich in the afternoons because there’s nothing else on or if I genuinely enjoy it.

I love sports, but I’m not very athletic (although I’m surprisingly spry for a 260-pounder, when I have the motivation to be).

I love to read, but I’m agonizingly particular about what I’ll read.

I assume there’s all kind of crap going on in the world that powerful people don’t want the masses knowing about but I can’t stand conspiracy-theory weirdos.

Whatever the mob likes, I hate. I could look at the Billboard Top 200 anytime you want and MAYBE I’ll be able to tolerate 10 of them and genuinely like 1 or 2 of them. Don’t get me started on today’s popular “music”.

I wasn’t sure I’d ever get married, seeing as how I’m an irritable, introverted loner. But here I am married to a silly, outgoing extrovert. And it works remarkably well (Love ya, baby!).

I kinda always figured I’d be a good daddy, and whaddya know…. I don’t think I’m half bad at it. 😉